The Fart Heard Around The World

     Many of you may not know that I used to be a truck driver. Tis true. I was a dirty trucker for a short while. I went to a school in Arkansas to get my Class A CDL and made some great friends along the way. I ended up driving for a shitty company for shitty pay, but that's a different story for a different time. During my time as a driver, I had many adventures and from those adventures came several great stories. This is just one of many.

   

Learning to drive at C1 Truck Driver Training in N. Little Rock, AR

     On this particular trip I got laid over in Joplin, MO. More specifically, at the Pilot truck stop in Joplin, which has a Denny's attached to it. Sweet! I'm gonna get my breakfast on! I went in to the Denny's and the hostess asked me, "Smoking or Non?". At the time I was a smoker and being as you can't smoke anywhere in doors anymore, I was excited as all hell. So, I decide to go get my laptop out of the truck and hang out in the AC and smoke cigs whilst eating bacon and surfing the interwebs. I had been in there for a couple of hours and seen many patrons come and go. It was getting a bit busy seeing as it was getting close to supper time and there was the usual restaurant ambiance such as chatter, forks and knives hitting plates, slurps of the final drops of sodas and iced tea, etc. It was at this point when, for whatever reason, the whole place became completely quiet. In this moment it happened....someone ripped a 1,500 dB fart that shook the Denny's to it's very foundation. After a split second of "WTF just happened" silence, the entire restaurant erupted in third grade style laughter. This continued for a solid minute or so. Then, everyone went back to normal and continued their meals and never spoke of the incident again. To this day, I still have no idea who our flatulent hero is, but I would like to say "Thank you, you magnificent bastard." and shake his or her hand. In a moment of life's monotony, you gave us a reason to laugh together, even if that reason was what sounded like a mule farting through a bullhorn, we are forever grateful. You will live on in our hearts forever. 

Here's a gnarly picture of me when I was a truck driver

Thanks for reading and feel free to leave any feedback. Until next time...peace.

McCaskill